Understanding Conflict and Dispute Resolution in Condominiums

Condominium living brings together a wide range of people under one roof. Owners, directors, suppliers, and property managers, often with diverse values, interests, and goals, interact with each other. Condominiums offer economies of scale, convenience and shared responsibility, it can also give rise to disagreements. Sometimes these are straightforward disputes that can be negotiated and resolved. Other times, they deepen into broader, ongoing conflicts. Understanding the difference between the two—and learning strategies for managing them—is essential for building harmony in condo communities.

Conflict vs. Dispute: What’s the Difference?

The terms “conflict” and “dispute” are often used interchangeably, but they are not the same.

• Dispute: A dispute is a specific disagreement about a clearly defined issue. It tends to be short-term and is often resolvable through negotiation, mediation, or other structured processes. For example, in a condominium, a dispute might arise over where flyers can be posted in common areas.
• Conflict: Conflict, by contrast, is broader and more entrenched. It reflects deeper differences in values, perceptions, or needs, and may span multiple issues over time. Conflicts are harder to resolve because they are tied to emotions, identity, and long-standing tensions. An example in a condo setting would be whether a pet-free building should allow existing residents to keep their pets under “grandfathering” rules.

Key distinction: Disputes are single disagreements. Conflicts are strained relationships that persist and escalate. Importantly, disputes can be surface manifestations of a deeper conflict. Resolving the dispute does not always eliminate the underlying conflict.

In condominiums, the principles within the Condominium Act, 1998 (the “Act”) form the foundation or starting point for value systems in condominiums because we must not contradict the law.  The Act is consumer protection legislation at its heart and thus we must always ask ourselves: what are the objectives of the Act? and what risks do we have to manage as a result of the Act’s standards?  I personally think we also need to appreciate what is the scope of our duty as directors under section 37 of the Act.

The Stages of Conflict

Conflicts in condominiums rarely just appear out of thin air—they often evolve and are based on differing values and perspectives held by individuals or organizations that take time to surface. Recognizing the stages of conflict can help directors, property managers, and owners address issues early, before they spiral and if you can take the emotion out of it, all the better.

Consider the example of a condominium supplier that refuses to provide kickbacks to boards that demand the same upon the awarding of the contract. How do you reconcile this kind of conflict?  Would it have been better if property management had warned the supplier of the expectation? Would it been better if there had been whistle blowing legislation in place to protect the condominium unit owners from its own directors?  Sometimes the right tools are not present and therefore conflict resolution is tough.

1. Latent Conflict – Potential sources of tension exist but have not yet surfaced. Was there any warning that the Board would ask for a kick back?
2. Perceived Conflict – Parties become aware of differences and begin to recognize the possibility of disagreement.  When you are taken aside as a supplier and you are told that the Board expects something more.  The supplier may have a hint. 
3. Felt Conflict – Emotions like frustration, anger, or anxiety take hold. The supplier starts to feel a bit desperate about being terminated.
4. Manifest Conflict – The disagreement becomes visible through arguments, complaints, or even sabotage. The ask is made.
5. Aftermath – The outcome of the conflict, which may be resolution, compromise, or relationship breakdown. Does the supplier have a right to sue the condominium corporation?

For boards and managers, the key takeaway is that the earlier a conflict is addressed—ideally in the latent or perceived stage—the easier it is to manage. De-escalating a dispute requires clarity, professionalism, and communication. Condominium boards and managers can benefit from a structured, consistent and unemotional approach:

1. Understand the Dispute
   • Identify the root cause. Go beyond surface emotions to pinpoint the real issue.
   • Gather evidence. Emails, contracts, and witness statements provide clarity and reduce “he said, she said” dynamics.
   • Assess the impact. Consider how the risks associated with the issue: impact to individuals, the community, and the corporation.
2. Communicate Effectively
   • Be clear, concise, and respectful. Avoid emotional language or personal attacks.
   • Listen actively. Reflect back the other party’s concerns to show understanding.
   • Offer constructive solutions. Collaboration builds trust.
   • Be thoughtful though not to compromise the Corporation’s position and risk.
3. Escalate Responsibly
   • Follow the proper chain of authority: property manager, board, or external mediator.
   • Document every step of the process.
   • Stay engaged to ensure progress is being made.
4. Use External Assistance When Needed
   • Mediation, arbitration, or legal advice can help in complex cases.
   • Neutral third parties often narrow the issues and reduce hostility.
5. Learn and Prevent
   • After resolution, reflect on what worked.
   • Put preventative measures in place, such as clearer rules or better communication protocols.

One of the most powerful tools for conflict resolution is effective communication. But words alone make up only a small fraction of how we communicate. Research by psychologist Albert Mehrabian (and Alison Houston) suggests that when emotions are involved, 7% of meaning comes from words, 38% from tone, and 55% from body language.  Isn’t that mind blowing in an age of Zoom meetings?  What are you missing?

This means directors and managers should focus not only on what is said, but how it is said. Reading the room—being aware of body language, tone, and group mood—helps leaders adapt their approach.

Equally important is listening. There are three common modes of listening:

• Agreeing – Listening to confirm one’s own perspective, often missing nuances.
• Disagreeing – Listening only to rebut, which can escalate tension.
• Being With (Curious Listening) – Listening with empathy and curiosity, creating space for genuine understanding.

Boards and managers who cultivate “curious listening” often find disputes resolve more quickly and with less resentment

Negotiation Styles in Condo Disputes

When disputes escalate to negotiation, different approaches may be taken.  The Thomas Kilmann Conflict Management Model is a framework for managing conflict management styles. Check out YouTube for various explanations.  Here is one I liked ( we do not confirm the accuracy of this content):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4eObpGH3l0

1. Collaborating – Seeks win-win outcomes; ideal but requires openness.
2. Compacting/Competing– Focused on winning, often at the other party’s expense.
3. Compromising – Each side gives something up to reach middle ground.
4. Accommodating – Prioritizes maintaining relationships over one’s own needs.
5. Avoiding – Withdrawing from the issue entirely, which may prolong problems.

Understanding these styles helps boards choose strategies suited to each situation.

The Role of Professionals

Seeking professional help can be invaluable in condominium conflicts, but it comes with trade-offs.

Pros: Expertise, legal enforceability, strategic guidance, and authority.
Cons: Cost, potential delays, added complexity, and no guaranteed outcome.

Boards should weigh these carefully before engaging external professionals.

Escalation: How Small Issues Become Big Conflicts

Unresolved disputes often escalate into larger conflicts. Could you have stopped the escalation and moved to resolution of the conflict and even dispute faster? Consider this trajectory:

1. A complaint is made: Mom to 15 year old: “You left your clothes on the floor.”
2. If ignored, it becomes personal criticism: “You’re a slob!”
3. Defensiveness follows:  Son: “ Have you ever looked at your own bedroom Mom!”
4. Contempt appears—sarcasm, eye-rolling, belittling:  Mom, knows her son is right but says: “Do you take care of 15 year old and do you go to work?”
5. Stone-walling occurs—ignoring or disengaging entirely:  Son:  “ Whatever!”
6. Emotions rise: Door is slammed
7. People take sides. Dad:  Your mother is right!” (Dad fears the “dog house” more than son!)
8. Resolution becomes harder as relationships erode.

Take a step back:

1. Mom considers the stress of the new school year and knows her son needs a good environment to work in.  Son is starting Grade 11 and wants to do it all well.
2. “Dear, your room is a mess, there may be other things living in it.”
3. “You must get it from me, but we both like clean spaces”
4. “Let us both set aside some time to clean on Saturday mornings so that it is out of the way and we can do other things.”
5. “Give me the top five songs from your playlist and I will give you mine so we can listen while we clean.”

This progression highlights the importance of acknowledging issues early. A timely, respectful response can stop escalation in its tracks.

In the condominium context, disputes and conflicts are inevitable—but dysfunction is not. By distinguishing between disputes and conflicts, recognizing the stages of conflict, and applying strong communication and negotiation strategies, boards and property managers can maintain healthy relationships and preserve community harmony.

The lesson is simple in conflict and dispute resolution:

1. address issues early;
2. understand if it is conflict or a dispute;
3. determine what the issue(s);
4. break the issues down into understanding risk and values;
5. to do this listen in meaningful ways;
6. do not make it personal, respond respectfully;
7. set clear boundaries; and remember the greater objectives – being able to move forward as a community.

Condominiums are micro-economies, a fourth level of government, and their success depends on the ability of people with different perspectives to live and work together. With the right tools, conflicts can be transformed into opportunities for stronger connections and better governance so that the parameters of the community are understood and adhered to without risk escalation.